Members of the public have gathered together in the streets around Britain to show their sympathy for the condition of Prime Minister Gordon Brown's eyes. His one remaining seeing eye (codenamed Brown Eye when used in secret MI5 operations) has recently seen tears.
That is, tears as in rips, not tears as in crying like a girl. His one useful eye is literally falling apart right under his nose (except for the fact that his eye is above his nose).
Gordon Brown has been reported as describing the rips as "tears" in the hope that having tears in his eyes may make him appear more emotional. Cynics say this is an attempt to change his reputation as an emotionless tight-fisted cyclops, but his supporters disagree. One fan said, "Ay, Broon, ya wee cunny, gi uz yer munny, ye pramisd!" which was understood to be a compliment, pending a translation by a Glaswegian translator.
It has been suggested that Mr Brown could win the general election which must be held in the next year, if only he could win over the crucial "Brown eye" vote. The potential of the "Brown eye" vote has been described as bottomless, but members of the group are thought to be somewhat anal about their voting choices.