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Tuesday, 13 October 2009

image for Curse of Tutankhamun No# 2 as Vatican haunted by fake St Therese of Lisieux bones scandal
Previous bones hoaxes include President Chirac's prostration before 'an old mummy's pussy'

London - (Osteoporosis): "Looks like the old Pharaoh is having the last laugh again!" curator of the British Museum chuckled today.

Despite his advice thousands of wannabe believers at Westmonster Cathedral continued to file past the ossified remains of obscure French Carmelite nun St Therese of Lisieux.

Their devotion seems unaffected by a previous relics scandal of 2007 when French President Jacques Chirac was caught prostrating himself before St Joan of Arc's remains.

These turned out to be bits of a sixth century BC Egyptian mummy and a cat.

Chirac later commented that "all zat flagelation before zee bones was worth it, even if it now seems it was just an old mummy's pussy I was praying to..." - as reported by The Spoof's queen mudder.

Last week St Therese's crumbling scraps scared the living daylights out of lifers and nonces at Wormwood Scrubs prison where they were displayed in the hope of a recidivism turnaround miracle.

Tests by the Museum's radio carbon dating division have shown the bones are a fake.

"Just bits of an old sheep and its Egyptian mummy shepherd," a Museum spokesman commented, "probably raided from a Valley of the Kings sarcophagus by father of Egyptology fakery Jean-Francois Champollion."

The Frenchman was the founding father of Yale University's notorious Skull And Bones Society, whose past members include both George Bush Senior and Junior, John Kerry and Henry Kissinger.

Champollion donated his very own funny bone to the Louvre Museum where it hangs next to the Mona Lisa.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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