Written by Paul T Horgan
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Monday, 12 October 2009

Sub-porn star Jordan, aka Katie Price, faces disaster as her script writer quit, it was reported yesterday. Speaking with the aid of a piece of paper with double-spaced typing in a large sans-serif font on it the silicone-based life-form elaborated:

"It's terrible, I don't know what to do. The script said I was to dump Pete and then shack up with this cross-dressing unarmed combat freak but then the scripts ran out. I don't know what to..."

After this the wax-faced top-heavy artificial news maker found there was no more writing left and started staring slack-jawed into the middle distance .

I made my excuses and left.

Lew Grade is spinning in his grave.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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