Written by iscrivener
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Topics: England

Saturday, 10 October 2009

image for English Towns and Cities Up For Sale!
Towns For Sale

In a desperate bid to cut public spending in England and Wales the English Lords have passed their motions on several towns and cities in the respective provinces by announcing they are to be put up for sale!

A pilot scheme will feature the sale of Berwick upon Tweed. Hidden away in the far north of England the idyllic community, home to 500,000 people and salmon comes complete with mosque, Hindu temple and Catholic cathedral. The town also boasts a Taliban training camp and internet café links to Al Quaeda.

England, the current owner of the town, has ensured that houses are not sold off in the near future.

Lord Henry Tudor said "It's all one could ever want from a quintessential English town, and now it is on sale for £33 million pounds, my ancestors would be proud of such an idea."

Once owned by Scotland, the English government is hoping that the Scottish Parliament will come in with an offer. Other likely buyers include Norway with their Norse connections to the town; half of the population have direct ancestors dating back to the Viking invasion of the hamlet in 795. Russia is also believed to be interested in the town having once been at war with the people of Berwick.

However Holyrood spokeswoman, Iona Skoda, said "The town is not Tartan enough for the Scottish Parliament to lodge a serious bid, it has too many incomers including a recent influx of East European Big Issue pushers!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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