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Thursday, 8 October 2009

image for Parliament to be moved to Eton

The latest Conservative plans for cut backs on government expenses have received mixed reactions. George Osborne today told the full meeting hall in Manchester about his scheme to rule from Eton, so that Westminster can be done up and rented out to Japanese tourists. The plan is calculated to bring the UK budget deficit back to 12 trillion pounds.

"The House of Parliament is one of the most well known landmarks in the world," the shadow chancellor declared to a roaring crowd. "It is being wasted on politicians. We could make some very pretty apartments out of it and the rent could be brutally high. This is the mentallity that will get us out of this crisis!" The benefits to using the grounds and buildings of public school Eton in Berkshire as the future House of Parliament are, he claims, self evident. "The whole of the coming government has been to school there. We know the place, we are at ease there. It is a calm and decent surrounding, and if there is a problem, one can always go to the headteacher for help."

Labour has called the plan "a travesty" as have all unions. The director of Eton was not available for comment, but rumor has it that he has already started refurnishing the main hall to make it look like the house of commons.

The Japanese ambassador has expressed his regret that his countrymen where being singled out by the Tories to be "lipped of in a toulist tlap."

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