LONDON (ABSNN) - In a move that stunned many British Peers, not to mention Charles, Prince of Wales and Heir Apparent to the Throne of the United Kingdom, Queen Elizabeth II dissolved the British Parliament Tuesday morning and recognized rocker, Joe Cocker, as the True Prince of Wails and new heir to the Throne.
"We are pleased to announce that prince Prince Joe will assume the Throne in place of that wimp, my son, Charles," said the Queen through a spokesperson.
Prime Minister Gordon Brown reacted with disbelief that the Monarch had dissolved Parliament.
"Is she allowed to do that," he asked.
"It's my picture on the money, my picture on the postage stamps, it says ERII on the soldiers' buttons, and those are my tanks outside #10 Downing Street and the Parliament," she said through the same spokesperson.
Joe Cocker, whose spastic air guitar playing and screaming made him one of the 60's favorite Blue-eyed soul singers, was "pleased to be of service to my native land," he said.
"I've calmed down a great bit since I lost most of my hair," he told ABSNN reporter Monsignor Francois Dubois, S.J.
"Is there any reason you think people might believe you aren't qualified to assume the role of King of England, Prince Joe," asked Dubois.
"Some people think that the 8,629 acid trips I took might be a problem," Cocker said candidly.
"Will you allow a new civil government to form," he was asked.
"Yes, and I think it is time for another woman to become Prime Minister," he said.
"Who would you want in that position," asked Dubois.
"Amy Winehouse, me thinks," he said.
"Is she out of rehab?"
"She was getting ready to get out when I left," Cocker said.
"How did the Queen inform you of the news?"
"She came in through the bathroom window."