Written by victor nicholas
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Topics: Alcohol, Monster, Sea

Monday, 5 October 2009

image for Sea Monster Visions Linked to Distilleries
Sightings Take Place Near Distilleries

Drumnadrochit - Worldwide reports of sea monsters, Bigfoot and other mysterious creatures have been linked with the location of breweries or distilleries nearby causing some to think that a relationship may exist. Investigative reporter Fergus McFaddie of the University of Edinburgh says that this issue first came to light when the family McFaddie distillery here near Loch Ness announced their two hundredth anniversary and presented workers with a complimentary bottle of single malt.

"Aye, waren't but a day after and reported sightings of Nessie topped over a hundred whilst most of the menfolk and a good number of the ladies were callin in sick as well."

"That's where the guess work ended and the science took over. I Googled the Loch, zoomed out a wee bit and to my amazement discovered that over ha of Scotland's production of single malt scotch takes place nigh too far from the Loch at Speyside - Imagine!"

"Not one to stop with success I zoomed to locations of sightings of creatures across the pond. I didn't look too long before I found the famed Ogo Pogo sea monster of Lake Okanagan in British Columbia is also the home of Kokanee Breweries."

"The topper was when I tried it from a different angle and searched Kentucky, home of Jack Daniels. Jack must be good corn whiskey; Kentucky is a hotbed of sightings running the gamut from visions of Bigfoot, The Spottsville Monster, The Sturgis Vampire, Werewolves, The Beast of LBL, Lizard Man, Goat Man and the Hebbardsville Hillbillies."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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