Staleybridge, Cheshire, UK - Doris Vomit, the once proud owner of five Pomeranian ankle biting dogs was today reported to be inconsolable, after her pampered brood were systematically slaughtered by a pair of rock hard urban foxes.
The Pomeranians, which sported diamond encrusted collars and which were treated like human beings by owner, Doris Vomit, who somewhat delusionally believed that they understood every word she said, were waylaid by two crafty urban foxes as they went about their ablutions following a KFC bucket supper.
The dogs, which neighbours described as 'spoilt' and 'snappy' had been accused of bad tempered attacks on neighbourhood kids several times over previous months, accusations which owner, Doris Vomit vehemently denied.
However, as the Pomeranians went out to spoil the local grass as usual with their fecal discharges, this time they met more than they bargained for.
"It was fucking brilliant," local teen, Chester Morse told us. "The little dogs were straining their necks, having a shite on the grass, when all of a sudden, these two really badasss urban foxes leapt into action.
"The first one picked up a Pom by the spine and shook it for a bit, till it stopped moving. The second fox went for the throat. Then they got the other three. They didn't half give 'em a good shaking. Killed the lot of 'em they did. Good bloody riddance too. Them dogs was a pain in the arse."
The foxes then retreated to a nearby grassy knoll, and to all intents and purposes appeared to be taking the piss, sniggering and pointing outstretched paws at their victims.
Doris Vomit, distraught, gathered her broken babies in her arms, sobbing hysterically.
"My babies! My babies! What have you done to my babies?" she screeched.
At which, a passing kid known locally as BuckwheatsButt said to her:
"That's not babies Mrs. What you got there is dead meat."
More as we get it.