Written by Morse
Print this

Sunday, 4 October 2009

image for Spoof Editor First to Set Up Direct Deposit Account for Delinquent Contributers!
Publisher Lowton Says Stored Stories Will Be 'safe' With Him!

Yeoville, UK/ Internet News and Late Technology Innovations - Mark Lowton, TheSpoof.com editor, publisher, and Chair of the Moral Decency Cyber Board (MDCB), announced today a first in the industry to provide relief for distressed contributers to his site who are 'upside down' regarding their contributions, which, if current, guarantee them a standing in the Spoof's Polls.

Just a short fortnight ago, Lowton, suffering a gastro intestinal spasm, and nursing grape fruit size testicles after clocking 5,000 miles on his 1955 Schwin 'Black Phantom' chrome plated bike, decided to make a major policy change in the Spoof rating system.

Noting that several contributors had not written anything in more than a decade, and were proud of it,but still appeared in the Site's 'Top 20" list much to the dismay of more productive, and topical writers, Lowton issued a fatwa in which anyone who hadn't published anything in a WEEK would not appear in the Spoof top 50 list!

Citing industry statistics, Lowton vowed to attract new writers to the site to contribute 'more timely social comments on internet games, inside celebrity stuff, and how to bypass firewalls to rig more points for themselves!"

Despite one bold warning posted on the forum in 4 point roman type, many contributors were caught short with the new edict, and found themselves dropped from recognition, a direct slap in their face which had a dramatic input on their weekly income, which further contributed to the economic malaise, despite the occasional 700,000 point stimulus by the Points Secretary of the Treasury, also, the aforementioned Mr. Lowton.

In response to complaints from several of the writers, some who were backpacking through Europe, others who had traveled to Australia for a cricket match, and yet others who were embroiled in home improvement enterprises, Lowton has announced yet another change to editorial policy, which he is modestly calling an 'appeasement addendum!"

According to Lowton, writers may arrange for a weekly withdrawal from their online Spoof Writer's Account, and a story will automatically be posted in order to keep their 'account' current.

"Actually, this will work out well for me too,' the harried administrator said, "we have some writers who submit 10-12 stories at a time in a fit of demonic frenzy, and it sometimes takes me days to edit and post them!"

Writers were basically non committal on the new edict, but others welcomed it.

"Bloody Hell,' said the sometimes forgetful Skoob 1999, "If the misses doesn't remind me I forget to put a shilling in the gas box in our flat...this will be a great help to me, and I can start building up my Spoof Library while I'm off 4 days a week!"

Spoof Guru, Monkey Woods, away in Thailand grooming 500 Thai 'write a likes' also said it was a great idea. Just like some of the great masters, Rubens, Tintoretto, dutch master Johannes Vermeer, and Bob Ross, Monkey is busy cloning a bunch of writers to corner the Spoof market. "Since I moved away from the Continent,"he said serenely, "things are looking up and I'll soon be churning out more Spoofs then the site can handle. That'll give me time to develop my off line marketing for Thai tourists looking for a bit of 'sex' stories to enhance their visit!"

Lowton said he will be offering the service for free for three months, and there will be no account transfer fee for new writers bringing their 'saved' stories from other sites.

"Any overdrafts,"warned Lowton sternly, "will be dealt with severely, and you could be banned for a week!"

Make Morse's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 3?

8 16 7 9
55 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more