LONDON England - The Queen today was reading some old history books, per her statement below, and made a major announcement affecting British society everywhere. Follows her statement, made this morning at her secret underground palace, in the undergroud.
I was reading some old history books, with pictures, today and noted that just about everyone had a sword. This makes me pine for the days of the sword.
Sure, I make tons of money selling guns and ships around the world, but it is just not the same. I want to see every gentleman wearing a sword for the rest of my days. Yet, I want you all to be safe as well.
That is why I have contracted, at great expense, to supply you with KNIVES! A secret suprise box containing not one, but a hundred knives, including Japaneese swords! These swords are not mere toys, they are made out of steel! As seen on TV!
Of course, if you hit anything with them they will shatter into harmless little bits.
So, enjoy. It only cost me $100.00 US. per person. Expect them shortly. TA TA.