Written by Aspartame Boy
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Sunday, 4 October 2009

image for School asks parents to stop shooting heroin at gates
This mother was about to do something nasty, having just shot up

A school governor has called for a ban on parents smoking crack, shooting heroin, or copulating while picking up their children.

Rathuragay Itchellmay, chairman of the board of governors at Donkey Road school for the impaired in Staffordshire, said a street drug and sex ban had been proposed after police received reports that parents had been seen doing nasty things at the school's gates. Some parents were in the nude, and flaunting it.

If the ban does come into force, anyone caught naked and shooting drugs in the area will be handed a £500 note. Mitchell said: "We are going to capitalize on this American style. We are launching a new reality series, 'My kids are square', staring the parents of Staffordshire", he related.

He went on, "Then of course, after the shooting, we will pack them off to jail. We will film it, film it, film everything they do, even in jail. It should be pretty juicy. They will earn that note."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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