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Topics: Economy, Women

Friday, 30 July 2004

Trillion pound in debt and British women are up in arms, defending what they see as their good names. They say they are not to blame for the trillion pound deficit but are in fact responsible for a vibrant economy.

We spoke to typical housewife Jackie Anderson, she went to lengths to point out that she and other women like her were not the shopaholics responsible for the rash buying decisions that had pushed the public debt level so high.

I often save hundreds of pounds for my family every week, the look on my husbands face when I tell him I've been to the sales and look at all the money I've saved, well most of the time he's speechless.

If it wasn't for women like me there would be no shops. It is a known fact that men only buy clothes when their single, it is not unusual for my husband to wear the same clothes over two days, which frankly is disgusting and he wonders why we sleep in single beds. It is my duty to keep British shop keepers in business as married men can't be trusted to brush their teeth never mind shopping.

To achieve this aim I must shop for the whole family, I don't waste money. My wardrobe must be changed seasonally and at least one major room in my home will be out of fashion each year. This is the cost of modern living.

Financial analysts talk as if we women enjoy shopping well I can tell you, and I think I speak for all when I do, that we don't. It is a constant battle to keep your family and home looking good and if to achieve this we have to spend a few pounds then so be it.

So we owe a trillion pound, you can't take it with you and the way the government tax you when your dead, well, when I buy something extravagant I see it as simply spending the governments 40% death duty. So it's like the money never was mine to start off with.

THERE WE HAVE IT THE VOICE OF REASON

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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