An unemployed Dudley man has been forced to move out of his council house in the town because of the rancid smell of his next-door-neighbour's fanny, it has been reported.
Reginald Dorkins had lived in the same rented accommodation for more than 40 years, but it was the beginning of the end for his long tenancy when Tara Rabit and her seven children moved into the house next door to him.
Her fanny stunk so much, that seagulls began to congregate on her roof, thinking that it was a trawler, and cats from all over the district would gather outside her door, having been attracted by the tuna-like aroma.
Rabit, 22, received visits from many men of all ages during the twilight hours, and Mr Dorkins claims she may have been a prostitute. Miss Rabit, however, denies this, saying that she has an illness which renders her quim so rank, that her underwear literally "disintegrates".
Local council officials who visited the property, have reported that the entire house "could benefit from redecoration." One said:
"It hummed a bit. It was a bit like Bridlington harbour on a windy day!"