Eleanor Gobbard, the lesbian jazz trumpet teacher jailed this week for seducing a pupil gave National Breast Appreciation Day a big thumbs up from the confines of her prison cell.
"Breasts are wonderful," the jazz trumpet teacher told us. "And look at all the different names we have for them - lady-bumps, boobs, knockers, paps, baps, tits, titties, top bollox, jugs, hooters, breasticles, the list goes on, and on.
"It just shows how popular they really are. Men love them, women love having them, and lezzies like me just lap them up."
Somebody claiming to be a Home Office spokesman, but who we strongly suspect was merely a vagrant, scoffed at Gobbard's prison sentence imposed for seducing a pupil. He told us as he swigged Special Brew from a can:
"What kind of punishment is that for a lesbian jazz trumpet teacher? Fifteen months banged up with a bunch of raving bull dykes? Justice, there's no such thing. It makes you laugh."
Yes, we suppose it does, really.
More as we get it.