London - (Altarbuoys!): The last time a Pope visited the UK, back in June 1982, was in the aftermath of the $2 billion collapse of the Vatican Bank.
And fifteen days after Pope JP2 Lodge left London for Rome 'God's Banker' Roberto Calvi was found hanging under Blackfriars Bridge.
His murder is still officially a mystery.
Pope Joseph Ratzinger's UK visit in January 2010 will see him stay in Buckingham Palace's Heinrich Himmler Nuptial Suite.
There he he will celebrate his 60th wedding anniversary with the Taliban Puppet Queen.
However some London lawyers may have found a bit of a fly in the forthcoming royal ointment.
Their top clients, a group of fifty-something former altar boys, have in their possession two extraordinary assets.
One is Archbishop Ratzinger's original marriage certificate to the hoaxer Queen Elizabeth - the only legal nuptials ever entered into by either party.
The second is some Zaprudder-style footage of Ratzinger 'initiating' those altar boys in a ritual P2 Lodge satanic fisting party in Westminster Cathedral circa 1966.
Game, set and match to the City of London's Serious & Disorganised Crime Division.