Written by IainB
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Topics: Manchester, Mayor

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

image for Manchester asks - do you want a mayor?
The Beetham Tower would be the Mayor's new house

Given the amazing success that Boris Johnson has had as Mayor of London, Manchester wants to get in on the act and have it's own bumbling buffoon of an elected Mayor of Manchester.

The Greater Manchester public have greeted this news with something less than the enthusiasm Manchester City Council expected.

"Who gives a toss?" asked one resident of Salford, resplendent in a trench coat. "What exactly has Boris Johnson done anyway?"

Martian Carnivore, leader of the council at Manchester, was evasive as to the exact role that the mayor would have in Manchester. On being asked if he would have any decision making powers, Carnivore had this to say:

"The position of Mayor is an important one in Manchester. We've had a mayor for much longer than any other city in the Northwest, with the exception of Liverpool and possibly Warrington. Oh and I believe Salford had one before us as well. However, the position brings a great heritage of tradition."

On being asked again if the new mayor would have any decision making powers, Carnivore added: "Well, no."

Although the council have sent out literally hundreds of leaflets explaining the situation, not one person interviewed in the city centre had any idea the idea was being mooted, and after having it explained, not one was in the least bit bothered whether Manchester had a mayor or not.

"With so many people voting in the Congestion Charge Fiasco of last year," said Carnivore, "I thought we would not see this level of apathy."

It has since been revealed that the leaflets sent out were all found in a bin in Picadilly bus station. Not even the leaflet distributor could be bothered.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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