The Society Of Sleepyheads today released the results of a five year survey into sex and bedtime. Results revealed that people go to bed at all hours of the day and night, primarily to have sex.
But it also revealed that quite often, couples go to bed ostensibly to sleep, end up getting aroused, and finish up by having sex.
"These people quite obviously aren't tired enough when they go to bed," Murph Dozier of The Society Of Sleepyheads told us. "They do the goodnight kiss thing then they get all fired up and start romping around. It's not conducive to quality sleep. It detracts from the sleep experience."
"Murph is absolutely right," Fanny May Beonhoffer, a maiden of the parish told us. "People who go to bed and then find themselves in need of sex are obviously not properly tired."
Murph Dozier recommends some baked beans on toast, a nice mug of hot chocolate and a novel by the supermodel Naomi Campbell as the best way to avoid sexual thoughts and promote a deep restful sleep.
Fanny May Beonhoffer was last seen entering a seedy motel room with three Spoof reporters. Her parting shot was:
"Im not tired! Yet! But I hope I soon will be!"
More as we get it.