Shocking developments have been taking place at Buckingham Palace today after an insider leaked that Prince Charles would not be King Charles VI after his mother's death, but Queen Charles I!
There have been rumours around press offices world-wide of Charles' femininity for some years, but now we have the truth. Charles would while away many hours with his now late grandmother, planning and hosting wild lingerie parties, guests of which included Chamilla, Cherie Blair and Sir Elton John.
Charles (or 'Charlotte' as he now prefers to be known) was unavailable for comment, as he was apparently breaking the news to his sons, Princes Harry and William, by making them a nice pie. It is thought that this move is directly connected to the recent anouncement by the number 10 press officer that Mr Blair will be running as Margaret Thatcher in the next General Election.
Khalid Mahmood, Labour MP for the constituancy of Birmingham Perry Barr said, "It's a funny old world isn't it. Suddenly people all around are turning into women, it is very very strange. I do not agree with, but my wife likes it when I wear her underwear."
Suspicions now turn to the Leader of the Opposition, Iain Duncan Smith MP, who experts are labelling as 'asexual' - neither man nor woman. Mr Duncan Smith denied these allegations, but gave hints that he could be a snail in disguise.
Close inspection of the front bench after the House had emptied revealed a rather disgusting 'slime trail' in the area where the opposition leaders arse would have been just an hour earlier.
This story was brought to you by : Mark Lowton, Eddie French, John Nugent and is dedicated to Craig Laycock with deepest sympathy.