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Topics: Elton John, adoption

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

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Elton - Still looking good for 47...no...74?!

Mediocre song writing "talent" Elton John has hit back at the tabloid media who have criticized his and partner David Furnish's effort to adopt Ukranian orphan Lev.

In a heated interview on day-time telly-show "Tomorrow's Morning." Elton slammed his critics accusing them of "smelling of wee and poo," before launching a passionate defence of his failed adoption attempt.

Elton ranted: "Brad's got one, Madonna's got one, Iwan's got one but the moment I want one, all of sudden, I'm too old! Old I tell you! I maybe no spring chicken but I've got all my own hair - in a box. In the attic. Obviously. But it's still mine!"

The decision by the Ukrainian authorities to turn down the couple's adoption attempt was supported by Equalities Czar Trevor Phillips, who stated: "There has been a lot of talk about Elton and David being too old to adopt. This is clearly nonsense, everyone knows it's because they are a couple of mincing, shirt-lifters."

He later added: "I'm Mister Boombastic, Mr Fantastic, she's say I boom! Boom!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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