Written by Rebut
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Topics: Sport, History

Sunday, 25 July 2004

image for Blackadder V : Manure
Roy Keane stabs himself through the head with a javelin in Episode 2

Real excitement is mounting in the United Kingdom as Blackadder V sees daylight this week. Unlike the previous 4 series which covered periods in history, this one deals with sport or more specifically a team.

Richard Curtis and Rowan Atkinson have carved up Manchester United into 6 episodes in their tried and trusted formula. Incredibly the club are so overrun with turkeys one can only wonder why it took so long to do.

Episode 1 is dedicated to Sir Alex Ferguson, beautifully played by Miranda Richardson. It is a hillarious look at one man's claim to own a horse until he raises some Irishmen's IRA(ire?) anyway there's lots of shooting.

Episode 2 is Roy Keane's quest to find his feminine side. Doctor Blackadder played by Rowan Atkinson, reccommends leeches which brings the house down with it being roundly agreed that the United Hospitality Suites are full of ..........

Episode 3 is a more sensitve appeal to mankind to treat kindly those who have been half beaten to death with an ugly stick. Either that or it's an appeal for money by Silvestre, I'll let you decide for yourselves.

Episodes 4 and 5 are a double header. They deal with the most exciting talent ever to come to the club. The raw talent, incredible vision and immense skill displayed by Arthur Short needs to be seen to be believed. He of course is the accountant who brought commercialism to the club. Short is played by "Baldrick" and repeats his discovery of cunning plans ad nauseum, which when you see him you of course are.

Episode 6 looks at the club's fans. The producers complained bitterly about the costs of travelling so far away from Manchester to find a fan but Sela Vi (new Brazilian striker) warned 'em. The United fan once located is loyal to a fault. Dr Blackadder asked Jock McLondon of Plumstead London why he supported United? "Because I am a fanatic. As soon as United are top of the League I'm up there to be counted. It's until death or second place do us part. Then I have to back Arsenal or whoever is on top, it's only being fair to myself"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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