Written by jeremy spinhill
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Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Alex Salmond, SNP leader and would-be clan chief of an independent Scotland, has been outlining his plans to fund his forthcoming referendum.

In a candid interview with 'Burly Jocks' magazine he admitted he would need to raise a lot of cash. Most of this would come from selling off national treasures.

The jovial Scot confessed, 'Well, yes...we've had discussions...with big companies who want to get involved...personally I dont see the problem with a bit of sponsorship....Loch Nesscafe sounds fine to me...and Edinburgh Carling Castle..whats wrong with that?...and Hadrian Wall's Cornetto isn't too bad.'

The amiable West Lothian continued, 'Of course we drew the line at some things...The Stone of McVities Scone for one....and of course Cadbury's Creme Eigg wouldnt do at all. But we are talking to a mobile operator about re-naming one of our towns 02ban...'

The genial Celt may find it difficult to get some proposals past the Scottish parliament, though...many MSPs are unhappy, particularly at the prospect of playing golf at St Andrews Liver Salts course.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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