Wiltshire - (Blitzkreig Mess): Wills and Harry are leading suspects after army bomb disposal experts at RAF Desmond Lyneham battled for four hours today to dismantle a five kilotonne nuclear device.
A hasty MoD D-notice gagged any delicate details from leaking out as the UK media became flooded with reports that so-called Heathrow Liquid Bomb mastermind Mohammed al Ghabra was merely the Princes' fall-guy.
The royal impostors have taken up Prince Charles' mantle of mainland bombing campaigns in order to secure their risible royal succession rights.
The real Wills and Harry were topped in infancy by their crack addict father who then buried them in Kensington Palace shrubberies.
Into their teensy shoes stepped amoeba-brained House of Ratzinger lookalikes fathered by Gordon Brown and David Cameron at the start of their respective world dictatotrship campaigns back in the 80s.
Tory frontbench spokeswoman on security defence intelligence Dame Pauline Neville Jones is liar on a par with her Labour counterpart.