Written by Mark Mywords
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Topics: Armed Forces

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

image for UK Ministry of Defence Closes Deal To Improve Supplies To Armed Forces
"Nine lashes of the Kat for ME please, Corporal

In a move which is designed to address mounting criticism that British troops are suffering from inadequate supplies, the Ministry of Defence has today announced a deal which is designed to raise morale, as well as a number of other things.

During a press conference held by Secretary of State for Defence, Bob 'a Job' Ainsworth, it was revealed that Corporal Katrina Hodge of the Royal Anglian Regiment is to become the new 'face' of lingerie retailer 'La Senza'. "We've had a lot of criticism that we've been caught with our pants down in both Iraq and Afghanistan, and that we don't have enough effective choppers," said Mr Ainsworth. "That is not a situation we are going to allow to continue."

Ms Hodge, the 'sex bomb' who became known as 'Corporal Barbie' after grabbing hold of the smoking weapon of a hot and bothered Iraqi hardman - and utterly disarming him - said that the deal, by which La Senza are offering a 15% discount on its products to all members of the armed forces, was designed to ensure that even when soldiers were under the severest of tests from Taliban insurgents, at least they would feel sexy.

Although currently with the Royal Anglian Regiment, Corporal Kat has said that she is considering a transfer to an armoured regiment. And with her soft peaches now enjoying the best of the silky smooth 'La Senza' range of undies, at least she should be fully armed and ready for whatever 'Panty Tank weaponry' comes her way.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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