Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 10 September 2009

image for Taylor Swift To Star In "The Lovely Lilting Life of Britney Spears"
Taylor Swift as Britney Spears in the movie's extremely controversial tennis scene.

HOLLYWOOD - Nineteen year old Taylor Swift has been signed to portray Britney Spears in the new movie from Touchstone Pictures entitled, The Lovely Lilting Life of Britney Spears.

Young Swift is thrilled at the prospect of portraying the legendary blonde singer who has been on the front covers of more tabloids than LeAnn Rimes, OctuMom, Lindsay Lohan, and Michael Vick combined.

Britney has agreed to lend Taylor three boxes of clothes, shoes, jewelry, and hair brushes that she can use in the interest of achieving total and complete authenticity.

Taylor was overjoyed that Britney is even going to be providing her with her own personal bras and panties that she actually wore during her Oops!...I Did It Again World Tour of 2000, her Oops Dammit! I Did It Again U.S. Tour of 2003, and her Oh Shit Oops! I Damn Went And Done Did It Yet Again Latin American Tour of 2007.

The film's director Czechoslovakian-born Takatiki Yamashuki said that he was amazed at the amount of similarities between Miss Spears and Miss Swift. Right away one thing you notice is that both girls have blonde hair.

Yamashuki said that another obvious similiarity is the first letter of their last name 'S.' He then added that both singers were born in December. He said that Spears was born on Dec. 2 and Taylor on Dec. 13.

He then pointed out that if you take the the 1 and 3 in Spears birth date and add them both up you get a 4. If you then divide it by the Taylor's birth date, which is 2, you then get a 2, which amazingly enough is Taylor's birth date.

Yamashuki also revealed that Britney and Taylor each have the same identical mole just below and to the left of their belly button.

The mole if it were to be amplified by 100 times would reveal that it has the exact same shape as the state of Texas without the panhandle and the Rio Grande Valley.

Swift said that she has already memorized the lyrics to every one of Britney's songs with the exception of "I'm A Slave 4 U," "If U Seek Amy," and "Hey U Lust Is Just An Anagram 4 Slut."

Taylor said that she will be doing all of her own stunts except for the scene where the Britney character gets out of the car and she is not wearing any underwear.

Swift said that her stunt double will be doing that scene since she is a nice girl and she would never ever show her hoo ha in private, much less in pubic.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I am 99.9 percent certain that the writer Abel Rodriguez meant to write public instead of pubic, he just simply missed the l.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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