Written by Mannsy
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Friday, 4 September 2009

image for Supermarket Launches New Products For Their "Value" Line

Consumers across the UK have today joyfully greeted a supermarket's decision to launch a new range of "Value" products.

In these difficult financial times, pressure had been placed up the managing director to incorporate a new range of "Value" products to help consumers further cut their costs.

Speaking to the supermarket chief earlier today, he was quick to explain the motives behind the decision; "Well, you see it's quite simple really. During the recession, more and more people are finding they need to save money. We've got value yoghurt that tastes of nothing, value bread which is actually just the yeast and even value milk which provides the consumer with one udder per bottle. However, we wanted to take it to the next level".

He continued, "We're now releasing some new products that fit the "Value" theme. We've got value trainers coming out without soles, value toothbrushes that are bristeless, and value razors that come without the blades. There's plenty more planned too!".

Earlier we met some consumers during their weekly shop who were delighted with the news. Pauli Kanes from St Pauls, Bristol told us, "I'm delighted with the news. I've been looking to make further savings for ages and these bladeless scissors for just 28p will help me do exactly that!". Holly Crawford from Bedminster was also clearly chuffed, "This no-bottomed mug for 14p is beyond belief! Why buy one with a bottom for 99p when I can have this one for 14p?! They are throwing their money away! Throwing it I tell you!".

When times are as hard as they are at present, it's nice to know one superstore is prepared to go that little bit further to help the consumer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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