Written by Morse
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Wednesday, 2 September 2009

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McCarthy Working on his Canvas in the Backyard!

Dublin, Ireland/ Modern Art Today/ Bizarre Section - Irish masonry contractor, Fergus "Slump Test" McCarthy, finally received the recogniztion that has long eluded him in Irish Art Circles, winning the prestigious "Golden Trowel" award from the concrete industry.

McCarthy, a devoted student of the late, great, Bob Ross, finally floated to the top of his profession with his latest creation "Slab of Cheese on Toast", a 24x16 tableau created in his back yard after he sold all his sheep to free up "his canvas."

Working through the afternoon and late into the night, McCarthy struggled to complete what he is calling "my masterpiece" before the 10 yards of 4,000# concrete set up. Working with neighbourhood volunteers who kept his material slightly damp, McCarthy first worked with a power trowel to level the medium, and then with a hod and a selection of 12,14,16 and 24 inch artistic trowels to put the finishing touch to the magnificant tabloid.

Consisting of sea gulls, palm trees, a three masted sailing ship, and a tiny cabin tucked away amongst jungle foliage and coconuts on a tiny island, McCarthy said the work reflects "all of the fantasies I was only able to express in my previous life as a Spoof. com contributor."

Spoofers world wide still aclaim that his one (1) snippet is a 'cult classic', and served as a template for All Time Snippet Champ, Bureau.

Prior to his concrete art obsession, McCarthy's masonry company, "Rock Hard Masonry Creations", was noted in some circles for his back yard pool creations featuring 'rocky mermaids', 'stiff dicks', and "mounds of tits' .

McCarthy had first won notoriety with his personalized gravestone creations favoured by desceased rock stars, and which can not be discussed here due to "inflammatory reasons", per the editor.

McCarthy, who is said to now favor the mild disposition and demeanor of his mentor, Bob, is also starting to take on physical characteristics. Due to dealing with his concrete medium, his right wrist is now limp, and waves around aimlessly while he talks to himself.

McCarthy claims it is a case of carpal tunnel, but neighbors said, " I dunno, he's starting to lisp a little...but maybe it's just the drink that's making him appear a little drifty....we like the new Fergus...no more black rages...he actually is quite the gay blade these days!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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