Written by Mark Mywords
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Topics: Terrorism, lockerbie

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

image for UK Decision To Release Libyan Terrorist A 'Mistake'
"Like some oil, you fat cow?"

Under increasing pressure from the US, and in the light of further damaging documentary evidence obtained by me in the past twenty four hours, UK Foreign Secretary David Millipede has now confirmed that the decision to release a convicted Libyan terrorist was all a 'bit of a cock up'.

The documents, handed to me by an anonymous, ginger, hairy prison warder by the name of Duncan McWhistleblower indicate that the Scottish government had in fact agreed to release another long-term prisoner by the name of Ally McGrahey, also coincidentally 57, who owing to his crimes in the late 1970's had gained notoriety as the infamous (at least in Dumfries and Galloway) 'Lockerbie Bummer'.

"Och, it's just a wee mistake," confirmed Scottish Fisheries Minister Alex Salmon, who it appears had signed the release forms on behalf of the Scottish Justice Minister, who at the time was on holiday in a Dundee distillery and unable to see straight. "We actually intended to free Mr McGrahey, who since 1980 had been serving a period of 126 years for crimes of rubbing baby oil into the backsides of Aberdeen Angus cattle for his own twisted sexual gratification.

"The staff supervising the release simply got confused.

"To be fair, they weren't helped by the fact that Ali Megrahi had taken to eating Scott's Porridge Oats three times a day, wearing tartan pyjamas, and watching 'Take the High Road', which cast some doubt on his actual nationality.

"We deny categorically that there was any agreement with Johnson's, or any other manufacturer of moisturising products, to effect Mr McGrahey's release in return for baby oil."

Mr Millipede has promised a full public inquiry into the matter, which he says will be completed by 2057.

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