Written by thedirtdigger
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Topics: Sheep

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

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A shocking new dossier financed and compiled by the British Nobhead Posse has revealed that every day in the UK, over 1000 Billy Goats are drugged and sodomised against their will by 'Un-cleansed individuals'.

The dossier, named 'We don't want you…to do that', claims that a recent influx of Polish migrants and increased Catholicism is to blame for the barbaric act becoming rife, and is a past time in these circles. However the dossier also raises the possibility of other minorities joining in, perhaps creating some sort of underground 'super immigrant animal raping group', much like the Irish.

Typically the Billy Goat is lured in and fed with a calpol laced cinnamon bun, before having its front legs clubbed repeatedly… After the make up and cocktail dress are applied, the 'fun' begins in a large and patient group. This awful practice can be traced back to many areas of Eastern Europe, particularly those countries now members of the European Union. A popular late night Romanian TV show translated as 'Fun in the barn' uses the practice as part of a game in its game show, were contestants must catch and penetrate greased up farm animals in exchange for prizes such as swimming goggles.

Eastern Europe has suffered some disastrous side effects from the practice, with as much as 60% of the areas population now related to an animal in some way. In the early 80's, the Bulgarian town of Varna was the birth place of the Worlds first human/sheep inter-breed. A stunned farmer helped deliver the hairy, two legged mongrel using a leather lasso, before raising it as his own offspring. Since then it has been a common occurrence, with many farmers making money by charging entrance fees to their barns to watch either a conception or a birth… How long before this story is mirrored in our wonderful country?

Vick Roster, BNP member and founder of www.poles-are-getting-on-my-goat.web, is leading a campaign to stop our country becoming populated by zoo mongrels and be known as 'Brilliant Britain, rather than 'Bestiality Britain'. She said "Years ago, immigrants used to come to our country and offer an invaluable service like delivering milk or strangling badgers. Nowadays if you go to any building site across the country, all you will find is lazy men swooning the local wildlife by whispering sweet polish nothings into their ears. No wonder the country is in recession. But due to our government being a bunch of cat stroking tree huggers there is nothing we can do, as wave after wave washes up pointy panted polish perverts onto our shores."

Reaction to the dossier has been mixed, ranging from 'at least it distracts them from incest' to 'cull them like kangaroo'. However some people are refusing to acknowledge the looming disaster, with even the government claiming the report to be exaggerated. Perhaps it's too late, and our hippy liberal leaders have already been got at by the fiends. But the BNP say they will watch and wait, for the time when the anarchic beasts roam and famine spreads death. Her Majesty will call them for God and country, and there will be plenty of cheap Polish meat for us all.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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