Shilpa Shitty has launched a range of curries. (So have quite a few drunks at about two in the morning, but that's another story.) What makes Shilpa's different is that she hasn't eaten them before the launch. We are actually talking cuisine here. The Indian star wanted to bring a taste of home with her, and also she wanted to make a lot of money .
Clax Mifford, celebrity advisor, son of Satan and spinner of all manner of tales, said "Shilpa is a massive star. We have a chance to really make her the biggest star in the UK. All she needs is a terminal illness and I can work wonders."
The range of dishes has something to suit every palate. The Davina Korma is mild, and rather bland but feels good inside. The Big Brother Dan Sac is a traditional dish with a spicy twist. The hotest curry in the range is the Jade Vindaloo. One large mouthful is all you can take.
Shitty hopes that her curries become popular with the British public. If not, then the sound of her food being evicted could dominate the early hours.