Written by Skoob1999
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Monday, 31 August 2009

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Burt, Ernie, Just Sign For This Willya, There's A $250 Bonus In It For You

Observers here in the UK have been voicing concerns about the wisdom of US law enforcement officers pursuing Jackson aides regarding the illegal procurement of prescription drugs by allowing their names to be used on prescriptions which were being procured, in reality for their boss.

If prosecuted, the Jackson aides could be sentenced to ten years in jail for fraudulently allowing drugs such as propofol to be procured under their names, for use by their employer.

British drug czar Anthony Bonghead told me:

"These guys could face jail for allowing their names to be used on prescriptions not for their own use, but for their boss. Some people in informed circles told us that it is a frequently utilised device by the rich and famous, to obtain vast quantities of drugs without arousing suspicion."

Which is where potential trouble lurks for the Jackson legacy.

Legal eagle Eddie Hawksbill-Gimmedamoney, now a successful barrister, explained to me in a back alley:

"In the States, they operate the plea-bargaining system within their judicial system, whereby the accused can disclose certain information in exchange for a reduced sentence. Allegations were made at the time of the molestation trials that Jackson aides were offered substantial cash sums to keep quiet, in other words, 'hush money'. Faced with ten years jail time, these guys are gonna start singing like canaries.

"And if they do, what are they likely to reveal?

Therein lies the dilemma for the litigation-hungry Jackson clan."

More legal chicanery as I make it up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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