LONDON, Thursday. Television personality and presenter of motoring programme Top Gear, Richard Hammond, has announced that he dearly wants to replace Prince Charles as heir to the throne of England, Scotland and Wales.
Hammond maintains that he has paid his dues as a British commoner, including near death accidents, and wants to complete his life on Earth as a royal king of the realm.
"My God" he said "I've done everything possible to advance the status of this great country and I think I deserve kingly recognition."
Hammond believes that Prince Charles has not displayed enough lion hearted courage to merit hopping on to the throne and lordly ordering his subjects around.
"Has he survived a 300mph motor accident? I don't think so!!!" said the insistent royal wanna be.
The Top Gear celebrity said he would release all the wrongly convicted prisoners from gaols all over the Commonwealth and give all his subjects a pay rise for watching his show.
Granted that, Hammond hasn't been able to explain how he would alleviate poverty and introduce reforms that would eradicate inequality in society.
"Give us a bloomin' chance" he replied.
Some people are excited about the prospect of a TV personality becoming King but Prime Minister Brown was incredulous.
"What's his name again?" he asked when told of the announcement.
Perhaps not, eh, Hamster.