Written by Frank Miller
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Topics: School, Exams, GCSE

Thursday, 27 August 2009

image for Government Initiative to make the GCSE harder
No need for these!

In response to critism on the recent world record of high grades in recent GCSE and A Levels, the Government is introducing a new tough style of exams designed for the 21st cenury.

Government appointed spokesman for the Child Unified Non educated Taskforce, Doug Moron, unveiled plans today.

"We've found that in the 21st century, solving complex mathematical equations and being able to hold a conversation for more than a minute at a time is no longer relevant.

In these times, it's more frequent to simply point at what you want and grunt without the need for speech, we must embrace these new and exciting times!"

Moron says that the new questions will be multiple choice and include questions such as:

Do you like trains?
Are kttens fluffy?
Is drinking battery acid bad?

Choices are Yes or No and there are no right or wrong answers to any.

"There are no right or wrong answers in the 21st century", Moron, "it's all grey and open to interpretation nowadays, these tough new questions are designed to hone vagueness as an important life skill."

Future exams may also include level 1 to 5 knife skills, to also reflect the changing times.

Moron again, "More than 80 percent of children under 12 carry concealed knives and it would be negligant of us not to ensure these kids get the best stabbing skills available."

The new exams come into force next year.

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