In a bid to thwart public disorder, and before the football season really kicks off - or more to the point, before the troublemaking fans kick-off - the Police are to be issued with extremely high-powered Tasar guns.
The Secretary of State for Hooliganism, Tommy Gunn, today revealed the new Tasar.
Called a twelve bore shotgun, the new Tasar uses spread-shot technology to allow the user to point the shotgun close to the target, rather than having to aim precisely.
The wide spread of shot produced by the gun makes it easier to aim and to be used by inexperienced marksmen, so while it may take out a couple more football fans than the specific troublemaker/s being targeted, it's a safe bet that the core troublemaker/s can be taken out by anyone familiar with point-and shoot methods.
The Police have agreed that Milwall football supporters, BNP members and innocent Brazilian men running for tube trains no longer stand a chance at causing trouble now.
The Secretary of State continued; "We just wish that members of the Police on their boy nights out could use point and shoot technology more efficiently and save angry publicans complaining about the state of the men's toilets after they are finished."