LONDON (ABSNN) - Charles, Prince of Wales, and heir to the English throne, has kept his promise to reduce his carbon footprint by no longer flying on the Royal jet, by burning all his own, and Lady Camilla's feces instead of peat, and walking up stairs instead of riding elevators.
However, his refusal to bathe in gas, or electrically heated water, has caused his wife much consternation due to the build up of pungent and "excessive, nearly lethal amounts of toe-jam," Lady Camilla never said, at least not to the tabloid press.
"He's always liked to wear his riding boots and spurs to bed," she did not tell ABSNN.
"I believe it was a fortnight ago that I saw him totally nude for the first time since our wedding night; and I must say, I was shocked at the amount of toe-jam between his completely blackened little pygmies," she did not say.
"I asked her to suck my toes, but she declined. She used to do it when I was married to that other woman, what was her name?" Prince Charles absolutely did not tell ABSNN.
The Prince of Wales is known round the world as the Green Prince. His effort to reduce emissions of green house gasses has saved at least one woodchuck and two saplings, according to Green Peace.
Has this reduced carbon footprint threatened yet another of his marriages?