Now that there are almost 3 CCTV cameras per head of population, the Department for Cameras, Street Bollards and Waste Bins is offering people the chance to adopt and look after their own CCTV camera.
Announcing the initiave earlier today, the Secretary of State at the Department for Cameras, Street Bollards and Waste Bins, The Rt Hon Dusty Binn, said, in between claiming expenses for moat cleaning, duck houses and shopping trips for his wife, that this was the perfect opportunity for members of the public to "buy and maintain a piece of Britain for themselves".
He said that people could elect to adopt a camera in the town and location of their own choice. They were free to decorate it in their own style, and choose the type of barbed wire they wanted to use to keep pigeons, rats and Chavs off it.
Pictures from their chosen camera are to be beamed directly into the adopter's own home, and should they happen to witness a mugging, robbery or someone borrowing a bicycle that might not necessarily be theirs, the adopter can phone the police if they wish. Otherwise, they are free to watch the trasgression evolve live on their TV screen prior to posting it on YouTube.