London - (Reterus & Ass Mess): The proctologist who found a foreign body up the Lockerbie bomber's back passage is operating on Peter Mandelson's suspected brain tumor today.
Royal Freak Hospital Prof V Smart said that a Mossad rectal implant was always suspected of being the Pan Am 103 black box flight recorder which vanished mysteriously in the 1988 CIA probe.
Omagh bomber and UK Business Secretary Mandy, 69, hopes to secure a similar mass-murder amnesty afforded to AbdelBasset Ali al-Megrahi who flew home yesterday after eight and a half years in the slammer.
The comeback king of UK politics reckons on serving two years and five months in the top UK post after working out the Lockerbie bomber numerology.
This saw al-Megrahi serve a highly significant 103 months imprisonment for the Pan Am 103 flight mass murder.
Cherie Blair's dowser has a brand new Tarot pack.