Tripoli, Socialist People's Libyan Arab Jamahiriya - (Rioters): "It's August, it's the Leo new moon and it's almost Ramadan," Buckingham Palace Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon commented on the day's Lockerbie bomber release headlines.
As many had suspected HM the Queen personally nodded through the release of the country's biggest piss-time mass murderer Abdel-Basset Ali al-Megrahi on the eve of the feast of Ramadan.
Earlier the Lockerbie bomber had a secret one-to-one webcam conference with the old monarchy hoaxer and promised to give her the Throne of Tripoli in return for a quickie parole.
"...and all the offshore bank account numbers of those crazy Al-Qaeda dudes who'll soon need some compasssionate Scottish due process..." in the event of an imminent military coup d'etat in Blighty.
Throne of Tripoli runs in the 3.30 at Redcar next Friday.