Written by Lightning Conductor
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Tuesday, 18 August 2009

image for Kerry Katona to be new "Nose of Colombia"!
Katona recently pictured on the beach in Blackpool

Former pop star, reality star, shopping star, star Mum, Evening star and Star of Wilmslow, fat bird Kerry Katona has been sensationally revealed as the new "Nose of Colombia"!

In a brilliantly timed turn of fortune, Katona has managed to find a lucrative new cause to promote which'll keep her in Chinese fried beef & chips for many years to come.

The Government in Colombia has decided to use Katona as a warning. They plan to show what a mess you will make of your life if you live the Katona lifestyle.

Senor Ramirez from the Ministry of National Promotion told our reporter from his deckchair on a beach near Cali that he hopes to convince the public of the UK that Colombian is the only reason Katona is still alive.

"I believe that the medicinal qualities of our white powder are undervalued", Kerry is living proof of its benefits gushed the moustachioed official.

The UK Government remain to be convinced although Jack Straw says "he'll try a bit to see if it's ok?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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