Written by Kent Pete
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Topics: George Michael

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

image for George Michael not arrested after 'near perfect' drive home

Amazing - These are the amazing pictures of George Michael's Ferrari arriving safely at it's destination yesterday evening.

Sensational

Not a single nut or bolt of the £80,000 Red GTS was damaged during the singer's 4 mile journey from the '100 Club' in London's West End to his family home in leafy Hampstead.

Our Home Affairs correspondent Sir Arthur Mitchell told how 'I Want Your Sex' singer George, 46, drove the entire length of Tottenham Court Road without incident and apart from running over a few stray dogs on Camden High Street the journey was a complete success.

Surely not

A source said: "There is a lot of talk about George being a dangerous driver when under the influence of potent hallucinogenic drugs but as far as I could see he looked to be in control of the vehicle. He did appear to fall asleep at the traffic lights outside Kentish Town tube station but a quick toot on the horn from the lorry behind and he snapped back into action. I think people should get off his back"

However friends and relatives have refused to travel with the troubled pop star since 2001 when in an 8 month period he wrote off 3 Lamborghini's, 2 Aston Martin's and a Bentley belonging to friend and retired comic Jimmy Carr.

Fuck me

George's Aunt Mrs Panayiotou said yesterday: "We all love him dearly but he's a menace behind the wheel. I think it's his nerves. He is genuinely terrified of driving, he always has been. To watch a man trying to roll a joint and self administer rectal diazepam at a level crossing does not inspire confidence. I'd rather let the train take the strain nowadays"

Local resident Laurie Rowe, 43, who travelled behind for the last leg of his journey through the Hampstead suburbs said that George was driving at a sensible 30mph throughout.

Ted Rogers (20 July 1935 - 2 May 2001)

"I couldn't believe it. When I saw who was in front of me I expected the car to veer off at any moment and go hurtling into a lamp post or pedestrian. George is notorious around this neighbourhood. Everyone stays inside when we hear him starting up his engine. I saw him knock down Judy Finnegan last week. The frightening thing is he never saw her even as she bounced off the bonnet of his car"

A spokesman for the Royal Free Hospital in Hampstead confirmed yesterday that they had treated a 66 year old lady for minor injuries last week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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