Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 17 August 2009

image for Relief for Brit binging bitches, Spanish scientists declare, "boozing beer is good for female bones"!
F**k the hangover, it's my bones I'm looking after!!!

UK Saturday night female binge drinkers have been given a monster boost to their habits from a most unusual source, Spanish scientists!

After intensive testing on old alcoholic "Biddies" in Spain the scientists discovered that ageing "Alco Senoritas" were less prone to osteoporosis (bone damage) and that beer boozing actually enhances bone strength in ageing female bingers!

This news rapidly filtered through to young female Binge Boozers in the UK and last Saturday some gave the following pissed up opinions to awaiting TV crews in Nottingham and Leeds!

"Fucking great news, no holds barred, booze till you drop, healthy bones, a good shagging and beer, beer, beer!"

"I'm pissed out of my fucking brains, and I'm only doing it for one reason, the older I get the healthier I get and my bones will never crumble!"

"8 fucking pints of Boddies and I'm still standing laddie, this proves the point, my bones are getting stronger by the pint, my high-heel shoes and mini skirt are as straight as the line I can't even fucking see, knickers in the air and a pint of Boddies, yahoo!

The police also heard of the great news about boozing and strong female bones, they promptly fucked off to let the beer do it's job, binge till they drop, let the ambulance people pick up their bones and good fucking luck to em, a free Saturday night in front of the "Telly" YAHOO!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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