Written by Joe Cronin
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Topics: Death, work, Bored

Monday, 17 August 2009

A 32 year old male office worker died today after overdosing on Excel spreadsheets. The dead man's boss had earlier warned his employee "I tried to stop him, I really did. He started off small, inserting columns and deleting rows. But then he learnt how to do sums and eventually the power of pie charts took over."

The victim gradually lost the will to live after a freak accident. A whole morning's work was lost after he deleted the wrong Excel file. A colleague explained "His face just dropped, the thought of sitting in front of a spreadsheet for another minute was just too much, boredom just took him away."

Rumours that well wishes should email their condolence's in the form of a pivot table have been denied by the family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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