Written by DonStants
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Topics: BNP

Saturday, 15 August 2009

British Nationalist Party leader Nick Griffin was left red-faced after claiming popular British delicacy, black pudding, is a product of "black culture" and that famous savory 'Spotted Dick' shows the "rise of the Gay Mafia".

Griffin's ill-advised remarks came a few days before the BNP conference in Codnor, Derbyshire, where many anti-fascist demonstrators plan to gather in protest of the loosely termed 'political party'. Griffin claimed

"Black Pudding is just another bloody product of multi-culturism which is ruining this country. You couldn't get away with selling 'white pudding' cause if you did, some bloody idiot from the PC brigade will throw his toys out of a pram!" before adviser's anxiously whispered in his ear that black pudding has been part of Traditional English Breakfast for over a century."

Backpedalling, a red faced Griffin, made a further blunder by saying popular pudding "Spotted Dick" was a "product of the ever rising Gay Mafia", and a "disgusting tactic to teach English children that penis's are sweet and savoury", before once again being stopped by his adviser's, no doubt advising the confused fascist that the desserts have been around since 1850, and doesn't actually look like a penis.

Its not the first time Griffin, famous for making far-out statements, being a general overall twat, and looking a bit like a pede, has landed himself in hot water. Last year he claimed "British citizens are being overlooked for employment because immigrants are getting all the jobs", whilst paying two polish workers for fixing his pipes. His excuse today echoed the one of a year ago:

"People are quick to put the BNP down without realising we are the ones speaking the truth. People are determined to stop us, yet we are proving ourselves stronger, and turning around the public perceptions of us."

Griffin's statement rasied eyebrows, as only 6% of the population actually voted for them, a third of whom claim "it was just for a laugh", whilst over half of their voters came from people mistaking him for popular cartoon character, Peter Griffin.

Whilst BNP members were left embarrassed over the incident, members of the Anti-Fascist League were rubbing their hands with glee. An inside commented "Well, we all know hes a bit of a twat, but hes outdone himself this time. I think hes had one too many 'spotted dicks' up his rear end, if you know what I mean." Demonstrations expected on Saturday are expected to peaceful, one demonstrator even claiming "Its a bit like a vacation to be honest, the BNP are such a joke they won't get into power. I turn up just to call them names like 'loser' and 'fathead'".

Meanwhile, British Restaurants and cafes have seen a huge rise in sale for black puddings and spotted dicks, prompting special offers and ingenious marketing campaigns, including a cafe in Hampshire selling "black puddings in the shape of Nick Griffins head", and an eatery near Hertfordshire including an "inflatable BNP leader to punch, kick and relieve stress on" every time a customer orders a spotted dick.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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