Written by Gertrude Dobbs
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Thursday, 4 April 2002

image for Prehistoric Weather Forecast, with Michael Fish
And that?s the forecast. Do have a good era!

Hello?I'm sorry to say that somewhat changeable weather has been the norm of late, with the fine sunshine we saw at around 410 million years BC during the Palaeozoic epoch slowly moving away to be replaced by showers, particularly as we progress through the Silurian and into the Devonian eras.

Looking at the map, well, we can see that continued continental drift will see much of the land mass of the northern hemisphere moving away from the equator and toward the pole, and that can only mean cooler weather to follow, possibly reaching us by the mid to late Permian period.

With this cooler air, and rain threatening later as we approach the upper Jurassic and across into the Cretaceous era, things really may get quite unpleasant: so if you're on your way to the mass extinction then do take along your Wellingtons and a stout raincoat.

As for the rest of the week, well, this area of low pressure caused by continuing seismic activity as the mid Atlantic rift really begins to open up will move gradually eastward bringing strong winds and the possibility of damage to some pterodactyls. Indeed, a gale warning is in place for the end of the Triassic, and the advice to all land mammals is to do your evolving indoors for a few millennia.

And that's the forecast. Do have a good era, now, won't you?

Goodbye.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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