Written by Ben Macnair
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Monday, 10 August 2009

image for Ugly Trees on endangered species list
I fell out of the Ugly Tree, never did me any lasting damage, mate.

The Forestry Commission has recently added the fictional Ugly tree to its list of endangered species.

The Ugly Tree, which has given rise to a number of catch phrases, as well as a number of Politicians, David Mellor, and Eastender Dean Gaffney has been slowly dying out as of late.

Professor Ernetst Thinktank told us:

'Ever since the rise in Plastic Surgery, and botox during the lunch-break we have noticed that people have generally been becoming better looking, so there are far fewer realy ugly people around these days, so as it is has not been so busy, the Ugly Tree as a species has slowly been dying out. It is a shame, but one I think we can live with'.

An Ugly Man from Ugly town was not available to speak, as he was allergic to Sunlight, but a pretty woman in her twenties was heard to say: 'But if no-one is really truly ugly anymore, how can we tell if someone is really really really good looking'.

A revisionist version of The Elephant Man is said to be in development, whilst the popular film Zoo-Lander will be looked on as a document from the times of really ugly people.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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