Controversial Israeli spoon-bender Uri Geller today not only admitted to being a friend of the late Michael Jackson, but also an avid reader of satirical internet website TheSpoof.com
Intrigued, we asked Geller how he thought the site would develop in the weeks and months to come?
After bending the keys to our van, for which offence we threatened to give him a serious twatting, Geller told us:
"The Spoof will go from strength to strength. Its power lies in its writers, who make it what it is."
Very profound, we intimated. Tell us something we don't know...
"The hardcore Spoofers will prevail," he continued. "Sometimes people storm the writers chart and make a huge impact, but it's often only fleeting. To be a successful Spoofer you have to have longevity, you have to be versatile, and continually creative. Sadly, some contributors are just one-trick ponies, but the novelty soon wears off with the readership, and these writers just fall off the radar."
Mr Geller then logged on to the Spoof.com and we were astonished to see an advertisement featuring a well endowed blonde woman wearing a low-cut tee shirt.
"You see?" he told us. "It's all about sex and smutty innuendo and pussy cats and beavers and huge cocks and Barack Obama and the Pope. With the odd bit of satire."
We thanked Mr Geller for his prediction and called a taxi.
Because, as previously stated, the fuckwit had bent the keys to the van.
That's the last time we'll be interviewing the spoon-bending weirdo bender.