A spunky sperm named Brian today revealed to Spoof.com reporters how he emerged from a horrifyingly traumatic ordeal to emerge as supreme champion in the world's toughest test of swimming endurance.
Brian lived on a small planet which was frequently scratched, especially first thing in the morning, by an unseen hand.
Kept in the dark for almost three days, and terrorised by a big floppy thing which sometimes inexplicably sprang to attention for no apparent reason, Brian was eventually pushed onwards into a tight tunnel, where thousands upon thousands of other cute little sperms were jostling for position.
Poor Brian was eventually squeezed with great force into a vast dark ocean filled with frantic spermatozoa. He takes up the story:
"There were a lot of guys swimming around aimlessly. I was a little dizzy myself, but there was this egg that looked like a good option. So I gave it my all and swam hell for leather towards it. As I got closer I had to fight off another sperm who I knew from earlier, but I got in there first and fused with the egg."
We asked Brian about his fusion with the egg and whether he had any regrets about touching base first. He told us:
"Yeah I have regrets. Don't get me wrong about winning the race. That was great. It's just that I eventually became Spoof writer Skoob1999 and that's kind of embarrassing."
More sperm related silliness as we get it.
Inspiration for this story from Jalapenoman. Thanks J-Man.