Written by northern warrior
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Topics: Binge Drinking

Saturday, 1 August 2009

image for Binge drinkers in for a gong
Wasting her life, but making an elite few pots of money

Doctors have announced today ''Binge drinking is good for you'' ending years of debate in an instant.
The study commissioned by leading beverage peddlar,interbrewed, found that huge amounts of alcohol consumed in a short period actually helps young people adapt to adult life in Britain, and also dulls the interest in boring stuff like, MPs expense claims, soaring unemployment, and unjustly high bank interest rates.

''The rich benefit greatly from binge drinking'' said Dow N Thatch, of Snatchy & Scratchy Advertising.'' we should be all encouraging young people to do it more often, plus it stimulates the economy, especially the law and medical industries. ok ya''

Wishy washy wooly minded liberals are expected to bleat ill formed opinions against the report, but New Labour is right behind it, with education minister, Sir Victor Braithwaite-Grosvenor-Smythe, set to annouce a new plan to give free gin and tonic minatures to all northern working class school children, to encourage binging at an earlier age.

Share prices in the alcoholic beverage sector have risen 80% today, and shop window replacment specialists, Barclay Speedi-Seal group, announcing a national recruitment drive for minimum wage technicians.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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