Written by Norfolk'n'Clue
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Topics: Iraq, british

Wednesday, 14 July 2004

image for Bob the Builder to deliver Iraq report soon
Bob, Scoop and Pilchard ready to take on the government!

The official inquiry into the intelligence used to send British Troops to a second war in the gulf is due at some point in the near future.

Bob was chosen to head the inquiry from a large list of hopefuls by winning a raffle. Fresh from ace-ing the Queen's award for enterprise, Bob gushed, "Meeting the Queen was great. Now I've won this raffle and suddenly I'm the most important person in England!" When pressed about the inquiry into Military Intelligence, he replied, "I shouldn't think we need to worry about that. I have my able colleagues on the case. We can fix it. It's a bit of an oxy-moron anyway, isn't it?"

When questioned further about his colleagues, he revealed that they consisted of a digger, a crane, a bulldozer and a cement mixer. Asked what use a bunch of talking construction equipment would be when trying to fathom one of the most complex political problems existing today, Bob was indignant. "I worked with these lads for over 5 years. What makes you think I can't trust them to do the job right? We can fix everything!"

Bob continued, "After the success of the American enquiry, carried out by my good friend Barney (the purple dinosaur), we intend to do the same here. There will be a few shocks, trust me."

Asked if Bob was qualified to lead the inquiry, UK Prime Minister Tony Blair leant his support to Bob. "He's a popular figure in the media, and round the world, and a recognisable brand. I have every confidence in Bob and the gang to fix this up."

Mr. Blair was reportedly considering employing Bob in the place of the recently retired Alistair Campbell if this enquiry went well.

Bob continued, "The items we will be looking at most carefully will be the accuracy of the claim that Iraq could use some weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes, the reliability of Iraqi defectors, the claim that Iraq had tried to obtain uranium from Niger, and most importantly, whether Mr. Bentley will get his shed repaired before it rains. His bike has every chance of going rusty."

Mr. Bentley was heard to say, "Bob has never let me down in the past, and I have every confidence in him to get this shed sorted. As for the Iraq business, I'm sure he can fix that too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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