Written by skunthrope
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Tuesday, 28 July 2009

image for Katie Price At Parental Advice Clinic
Jordan intends to teach parents to treat children like dolls.

Katie Price (aka as Jordan or Booberella) and one-time singer Peter Andre were once the toast of British Chav society and their love seemed as eternal as that of equally class act Jack Tweed and Jade Goody. Katie herself once said, "I would wait or somefink like five minutes before doing stuff freaky wit' anudder man of somefink if me Pete was to like not be around anymore. Girl's gotta ridden by a stud!"

Family values are at the heart of Price's touching mainfesto and it is a real credit to her that she would wait a whole five minutes before dropping her knickers to someone other than her husband. Similarly her experiences in creating a family home will prove invaluable as she opens a college to teach her family values.

Classes will include nanny hiring, booking hotels to shag your latest beau in silently, and most importantly binge drinking. The final exam of the course will involve candidates being able to stagger in at 4am drunk, and nurse their hangover brought on by an excess of drink and drugs and leave the nanny to get the kids to school in the morning. Price has written a textbook for her classes which she expects to promote in the next few weeks, as soon as she can hire a bunch of steroid enhanced freaks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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