Drama unfolding here in the UK - Police officers today swarmed the residence of TheSpoof.com satirical website contributor, Skoob1999.
Officers at the scene reckoned that the sad bastard might have finally gone too far and upset his wife by refusing to carry the shopping in.
A neighbour, Mr Pink told us:
"He seemed all right to me, A bit pissed like. But then that's nothing unusual. He ain't dead. If he was, I'd know about it."
Police stormed the home of the Spoof writer, and restrained his wife from hitting him with a big stick. She was heard to utter:
"I do love him but he's a bastard."
Skoob1999 did carry the shopping in, even though it was very heavy, and he ain't getting any younger.
We can clarify that Skoob1999 is not dead. We can state this unequivocally. With authority. And that.
As we were leaving, Skoob1999 appeared at a window and told us:
"I'm okay guys. I'm not dead. She just battered me with the big stick again. It's all right. I'll get through it. The cuts and bruises will heal."
Mrs Skoob was heard to say;
"Next time it won't be a stick. It'll be the Sabatier carving knife. I've had enough of that cunt."
Skoob remains in a mental fog. Or fugue.
More as we get it.
After a heavy night on the beer and a prolonged session of forum stupidity. Skoob is not dead. He just feels like he is.